Carstanfum is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, proud crab.

Carstanfum created humanity seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Carstanfum, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Carstanfum, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Carstanfum's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Carstanfum's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Always look after injured dolphins.

4. You must never eat bananas.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.