Labdinwig is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, clever hummingbird.

Labdinwig created a charm quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Labdinwig, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Labdinwig, it will turn you into a mouse.

Labdinwig's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Labdinwig's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed carrots to squirrels while wearing turquoise ear rings.

2. Never paint your legs red.

3. Do not shave your chest.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never talk about cell theory.