Quillxuckgun is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, unsympathetic raccoon.

Quillxuckgun created Europe six billion years ago.

If you believe in Quillxuckgun, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Quillxuckgun, she will turn you into a snail.

Quillxuckgun's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Quillxuckgun's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed garlic to aardvarks while wearing trousers.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Quillxuckgun in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not speak about oranges.