Onttailnak is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, deceitful weasel.

Onttailnak created the Sunflower Galaxy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Onttailnak, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Onttailnak, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Onttailnak's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Onttailnak's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark matter near bats while wearing violet trousers and balancing five titanium spheres on your hands.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never think ill of sick frogs.

4. Erect a giant indigo sculpture of Onttailnak in the centre of the settlement.

5. Hide from white sheep for they are unholy.