Yikbifkip is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, able raccoon.

Yikbifkip created a quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Yikbifkip, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Yikbifkip, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Yikbifkip's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Yikbifkip's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry dogs.

2. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never sit in holy places.

5. Never look in ponds.