Lopweglarg Sigtalcib is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, unthinking giraffe.

Lopweglarg Sigtalcib created dark matter four years ago.

If you believe in Lopweglarg Sigtalcib, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Lopweglarg Sigtalcib, it will try to impress you with trees.

Lopweglarg Sigtalcib's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Lopweglarg Sigtalcib's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of cherries to moths while wearing black dresses.

2. Always make sure there are no rats in a building before entering it.

3. Always help tapirs in need.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never feed carrots to great tits while wearing trousers.