Megquimlag Sigkapflow is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, emotional coyote.

Megquimlag Sigkapflow created the Sun five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Megquimlag Sigkapflow, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Megquimlag Sigkapflow, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Megquimlag Sigkapflow's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Megquimlag Sigkapflow's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not dye your hair green.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never eat bark.