Bityiksan is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, uncaring hamster.

Bityiksan created a top quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Bityiksan, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bityiksan, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Bityiksan's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Bityiksan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not skip in public.

2. Never think ill of sick horses.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate tortoises.

4. You must love Bityiksan.

5. Erect eight iron sculptures of Bityiksan on top of important buildings.