Spagvonbug is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, intelligent mink.

Spagvonbug created light eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Spagvonbug, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Spagvonbug, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Spagvonbug's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Spagvonbug's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in holy places.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never write about archaea.

4. Never eat lemons.

5. Do not listen to music.