Hivkapfab is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, vain weasel.

Hivkapfab created viruses six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hivkapfab, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Hivkapfab, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Hivkapfab's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Hivkapfab's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Hivkapfab on top of all buildings.

2. Always obey Hivkapfab's priests.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sharks.

4. Do not sing in public.

5. Never eat green fruit.