Kapnarnellvil is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, staggering hare.

Kapnarnellvil created the Sombrero Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kapnarnellvil, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Kapnarnellvil, it will not care.

Kapnarnellvil's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Kapnarnellvil's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Kapnarnellvil must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Retreat if four cats approach from the east.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Erect a giant gray sculpture of Kapnarnellvil in the centre of the settlement.