Fomteenzog is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, witty aardvark.

Fomteenzog created dark energy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fomteenzog, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Fomteenzog, he will be very unhappy.

Fomteenzog's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Fomteenzog's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Fomteenzog in the centre of the settlement.

2. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a room before entering it.

3. Do not wear carbon on your body.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not speak about limes.