Biglisthiv is a god.

He takes the form of a large, proud zebra.

Biglisthiv created the world two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Biglisthiv, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Biglisthiv, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Biglisthiv's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Biglisthiv's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Biglisthiv.

2. Learn nine new languages a year.

3. Never feed turnips to moths while wearing white tights.

4. Put Biglisthiv first in all things.

5. Never mention porpoises.