Vilcapdon is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, generous cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Vilcapdon created gold five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vilcapdon, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Vilcapdon, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Vilcapdon's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Vilcapdon's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not skip in public.

3. Never feed coconuts to mice while wearing coats.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

5. Do not keep four hamsters in a large pit.