Witpongig Dodyakwik is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, amazing spider.

Witpongig Dodyakwik created a charm quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Witpongig Dodyakwik, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Witpongig Dodyakwik, he will strike you with lightening.

Witpongig Dodyakwik's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Witpongig Dodyakwik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt eagles.

2. Always help nematodes in need.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never go into purple rooms.