Gambiftun is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, slow duck.

Gambiftun created light seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gambiftun, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gambiftun, it will come to you in dreams.

Gambiftun's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Gambiftun's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if five rats approach from the east.

2. Do not hurt moths.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.