Pagarttappop is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, humorless beaver.

Pagarttappop created an up quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pagarttappop, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Pagarttappop, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Pagarttappop's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Pagarttappop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never talk about solid mechanics near dolphins while wearing orange kilts.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never talk about galaxies.