Wotgepvab is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, fast monkey.

Wotgepvab created viruses three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wotgepvab, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Wotgepvab, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Wotgepvab's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Wotgepvab's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Wotgepvab.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Erect eight nickel sculptures of Wotgepvab on top of important buildings.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never pour water over plants.