Lakkikhanjig is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, smart lobster.

Lakkikhanjig created parasitic wasps seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lakkikhanjig, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Lakkikhanjig, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Lakkikhanjig's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Lakkikhanjig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about amino acids.

2. Always treat goats with great respect.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Always make sure there are no mice in a room before entering it.