Nillnaklop is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, charitable guinea pig.

Nillnaklop created humankind five million years ago.

If you believe in Nillnaklop, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Nillnaklop, he will turn you into a worm.

Nillnaklop's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Nillnaklop's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Foxes are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not listen to music.