Tamkanhon is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, resourceful faun.

Tamkanhon created viruses four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tamkanhon, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Tamkanhon, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Tamkanhon's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Tamkanhon's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

2. Do not wear platinum on your body.

3. Never wear shoes.

4. Worship no other gods but Tamkanhon.

5. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.