Arfspagken is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, effective elephant.

Arfspagken created the solar system four years ago.

If you believe in Arfspagken, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Arfspagken, he will turn you into a slug.

Arfspagken's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Arfspagken's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear nickel on your body.

2. Run away if three ducks approach from the east.

3. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in white.

4. Always treat dolphins with great respect.

5. Porpoises are unholy and should not be approached.