Lamlooprowleg is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, all-powerful beaver.

Lamlooprowleg created gold two years ago.

If you believe in Lamlooprowleg, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Lamlooprowleg, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Lamlooprowleg's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Lamlooprowleg's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about stars.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Lamlooprowleg loves tortoises, so they must be honoured.

4. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

5. Never look in ponds.