Stiphunbiglarpcem Ortpintof Hatxucpogflig is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, temperamental snake.

Stiphunbiglarpcem Ortpintof Hatxucpogflig created a Higgs boson three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stiphunbiglarpcem Ortpintof Hatxucpogflig, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Stiphunbiglarpcem Ortpintof Hatxucpogflig, she will turn you into a mouse.

Stiphunbiglarpcem Ortpintof Hatxucpogflig's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Stiphunbiglarpcem Ortpintof Hatxucpogflig's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about thermodynamics.

2. Worship no other gods but Stiphunbiglarpcem Ortpintof Hatxucpogflig.

3. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never hop near ants.