Jadjopcatfum is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, two-faced finch.

Jadjopcatfum created the world nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jadjopcatfum, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Jadjopcatfum, he will send minions to preach to you.

Jadjopcatfum's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Jadjopcatfum's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never think ill of sick tortoises.

3. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Jadjopcatfum in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never hurt turtles.

5. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.