Betfatlarp is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, unselfish donkey.

Betfatlarp created the cosmos seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Betfatlarp, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Betfatlarp, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Betfatlarp's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Betfatlarp's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Betfatlarp five times a day.

2. You must never eat strawberries.

3. Do not keep six voles in a large pit.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. You must love Betfatlarp.