Gumhudbinwat is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, benevolent mouse.

Gumhudbinwat created Europe eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gumhudbinwat, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gumhudbinwat, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Gumhudbinwat's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Gumhudbinwat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your hands.

2. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Gumhudbinwat on top of all buildings.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

5. Always treat aardvarks with great respect.