Vedpangzed is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, able fly.

Vedpangzed created the planet Earth nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vedpangzed, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Vedpangzed, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Vedpangzed's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Vedpangzed's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about optics.

2. Vedpangzed must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never mention snakes.

4. Never think ill of sick badgers.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.