Cadquilltag is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, kind wyrm.

Cadquilltag created the planet Jupiter four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cadquilltag, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Cadquilltag, he will turn you into a hamster.

Cadquilltag's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Cadquilltag's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat cherries.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a building before entering it.