Xingutlip is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, unsympathetic finch.

Xingutlip created vertebrates six billion years ago.

If you believe in Xingutlip, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Xingutlip, it will turn you into a frog.

Xingutlip's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Xingutlip's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Always make sure there are no rats in a building before entering it.

4. Never feed coconuts to pigs while wearing dresses.

5. Hamsters are unholy and should not be approached.