Vanlogsidnulcussripveen is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, irritating capybara.

Vanlogsidnulcussripveen created Asia seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vanlogsidnulcussripveen, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Vanlogsidnulcussripveen, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Vanlogsidnulcussripveen's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Vanlogsidnulcussripveen's Holy Commandments

1. Always help swans in need.

2. Retreat if three whales approach from the south.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. You must love Vanlogsidnulcussripveen.

5. Never think about quantum field theory near geese while wearing blue skirts and balancing eight zinc spheres on your neck.