Omtfotyog is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, unthinking grasshopper.

Omtfotyog created light eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Omtfotyog, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Omtfotyog, she will send you a sign.

Omtfotyog's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Omtfotyog's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Hide from fawn pigs for they are unholy.

5. Retreat if six monkeys approach from the west.