Vilhog Gonjinvad is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, temperamental dragonfly.

Vilhog Gonjinvad created gold three billion years ago.

If you believe in Vilhog Gonjinvad, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vilhog Gonjinvad, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Vilhog Gonjinvad's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Vilhog Gonjinvad's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick mites.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never mention hamsters.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never talk about great tits.