Yarthatdim is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, staggering jaguar.

Yarthatdim created the solar system nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarthatdim, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Yarthatdim, she will send you a sign.

Yarthatdim's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Yarthatdim's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint near swans.

2. Never feed wheat to cats while wearing fawn corsets.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never write about stars.

5. Do not wear white clothing.