Haprigcep is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, ruthless aardvark.

Haprigcep created the Tadpole Galaxy six million years ago.

If you believe in Haprigcep, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Haprigcep, she will turn you into a tree.

Haprigcep's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Haprigcep's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if seven badgers approach from the east.

2. Do not eat cucumbers.

3. Never talk about electromagnetism near capybaras while wearing black kilts and balancing three copper spheres on your chest.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate great tits.

5. Do not chop down trees.