Ruttwippad is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, quiet shrew.

Ruttwippad created a charm quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Ruttwippad, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Ruttwippad, he will boil you in a big pot.

Ruttwippad's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Ruttwippad's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your head orange.

2. Always look after injured dolphins.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never laugh in holy places.