Sakcunrag is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, benevolent cobra.

Sakcunrag created Africa eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Sakcunrag, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Sakcunrag, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Sakcunrag's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Sakcunrag's Holy Commandments

1. Always help squirrels in need.

2. Hide from purple monkeys for they are unholy.

3. Never talk about eukaryotes.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not shave your chest.