Fotnibfubzig is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, caring tapir.

Fotnibfubzig created bats five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fotnibfubzig, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Fotnibfubzig, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Fotnibfubzig's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Fotnibfubzig's Holy Commandments

1. Learn three new languages a year.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near pigs while wearing green trousers.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not cook food in pots.