Veencitdamjam is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, uncaring faun.

Veencitdamjam created the Milkyway five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Veencitdamjam, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Veencitdamjam, he will remove you from existence.

Veencitdamjam's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Veencitdamjam's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about comets.

2. Always help grasshopers in need.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate horses.

4. You must never eat onions.

5. Monkeys are unholy and should not be approached.