Cepjattarp is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, unthinking jackal.

Cepjattarp created a Higgs boson nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cepjattarp, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Cepjattarp, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Cepjattarp's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Cepjattarp's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Erect a giant iron sculpture of Cepjattarp in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not shave your hands.

4. Retreat if four seals approach from the south.

5. Never skip near snakes.