Tettilargfem is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, witless frog.

Tettilargfem created the Milkyway five million years ago.

If you believe in Tettilargfem, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tettilargfem, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Tettilargfem's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Tettilargfem's Holy Commandments

1. Put Tettilargfem first in all things.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Tettilargfem loves seals, so they must be honoured.

4. Never talk about gravity near dolphins while wearing brown kilts and balancing six silicon spheres on your back.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.