Saggethasnadpombafraw Bellgupontvidsafwiktarptarg is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, unthoughtful gerbil.

Saggethasnadpombafraw Bellgupontvidsafwiktarptarg created Europe seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Saggethasnadpombafraw Bellgupontvidsafwiktarptarg, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Saggethasnadpombafraw Bellgupontvidsafwiktarptarg, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Saggethasnadpombafraw Bellgupontvidsafwiktarptarg's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Saggethasnadpombafraw Bellgupontvidsafwiktarptarg's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Saggethasnadpombafraw Bellgupontvidsafwiktarptarg.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Worship no other gods but Saggethasnadpombafraw Bellgupontvidsafwiktarptarg.

4. Never talk about special relativity near mites while wearing violet skirts.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.