Flambanyambegrigquimlik Gomappnil Safflapmad is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, duplicitous turtle.

Flambanyambegrigquimlik Gomappnil Safflapmad created a bottom quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flambanyambegrigquimlik Gomappnil Safflapmad, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Flambanyambegrigquimlik Gomappnil Safflapmad, it will turn you into a snail.

Flambanyambegrigquimlik Gomappnil Safflapmad's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Flambanyambegrigquimlik Gomappnil Safflapmad's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Never mention foxes.

5. Do not kill horses.