Tabwotbarn is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, selfish gerbil.

Tabwotbarn created the Virgo Supercluster three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tabwotbarn, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tabwotbarn, she will curse you with boils.

Tabwotbarn's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Tabwotbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick monkeys.

2. Worship no other gods but Tabwotbarn.

3. Do not kill pigs.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never play with disobedient children.