Fobvinstikdud Dinlanran is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, all-powerful rhinoceros.

Fobvinstikdud Dinlanran created a photon two years ago.

If you believe in Fobvinstikdud Dinlanran, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Fobvinstikdud Dinlanran, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Fobvinstikdud Dinlanran's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Fobvinstikdud Dinlanran's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant brown sculpture of Fobvinstikdud Dinlanran in the centre of the settlement.

2. Run away if six voles approach from the east.

3. Do not wear zinc on your body.

4. Never wear green jumpers.

5. Feed all hungry capybaras.