Cingupcip is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, idiotic narwhal.

Cingupcip created the Cigar Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cingupcip, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Cingupcip, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Cingupcip's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Cingupcip's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never bounce in holy places.

3. Cingupcip loves mites, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Feed all hungry snakes.