Lamdudveg is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, loving porpoise.

Lamdudveg created a quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Lamdudveg, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Lamdudveg, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Lamdudveg's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Lamdudveg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair fawn.

2. Do not sprint in public.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.