Nursatwig is a god.

He takes the form of a large, merciless hamster.

Nursatwig created the Cigar Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nursatwig, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Nursatwig, he will throw large rocks at you.

Nursatwig's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Nursatwig's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a building before entering it.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never talk about fluid mechanics near tapirs while wearing turquoise shirts and balancing six copper spheres on your legs.