Bassfumart is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, all-powerful goat.

Bassfumart created everything that exists five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bassfumart, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bassfumart, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Bassfumart's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Bassfumart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Always pray immersed in water.