Begfabjam is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, sapient walrus.

Begfabjam created the Small Magellanic Cloud four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Begfabjam, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Begfabjam, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Begfabjam's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Begfabjam's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no turtles in a building before entering it.

2. Begfabjam loves hamsters, so they must be respected.

3. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in magenta.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Begfabjam.