Quambedrow is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, boastful finch.

Quambedrow created time and space two years ago.

If you believe in Quambedrow, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Quambedrow, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Quambedrow's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Quambedrow's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Learn eight new languages a year.

4. Always help sick mites.

5. Never talk about optics.